CHI @ ATL
Chuck: Since when did Kyle Orton turn into Dan F’ing Marino? He’s quietly transformed into one of the top 10 quarterbacks in the league through five weeks. Until Chicago’s momentum slows down I have no choice but to ride with them, even though Atlanta will be at home. Chi-Town wins.
Risse: I actually think that this will be a surprisingly good game. The Falcons aren’t the same old yard birds from last year, that’s for sure. But I think their offense will be stifled by Urlacher and company, and I see Matt Forte ripping Atlanta’s defense. Windy City wins!
MIA @ HOU
Chuck: Man, it was so cool seeing Miami play with such emotion and enthusiasm when they whipped San Diego last week. This team hasn’t been very good in a long time, and to see them physically impose their will on someone and dominate down the stretch was encouraging. I know the wildcat offense gets all the press… but these guys are playing real defense too. Miami Wins.
Risse: I know Chuck enjoys getting in his digs about Houston Texans love. Yes, they are 0-5. Yes, Hurricane Sage blew the much-needed win last week. Guess what? The Wildcat will look like a house cat this week. I said, I said it…The Houston Texans are pissed off–finally–and will no longer be the laughingstock of the postgame show. Texans gets their first win.
BAL @ IND
Chuck: Like I’ve mentioned before, the ONLY reason Indianapolis isn’t 0-4 is because Minnesota and Houston absolutely melted down in the 4th quarter. Until I see Indy win a game thats not the result of someone elses’ mistakes.. I’ll pull for their opponents. Baltimore wins.
Risse: Ain’t no love for big-head Peyton. So I hope Ray Lewis puts one of his signature hits on somebody wearing the number 18. Often. I don’t actually think they will win but I’m rolling with the Ravens.
DET @ MIN
Chuck: I can’t say enough bad things about Detroit, they made a real mistake letting Mike Martz go… now their offense cant move the ball and their defense is terrible as usual. Purple Jesus and the crew wins.
Risse: I want to see Adrian Peterson have a huge game. Sorry Westside Detroit, I’m rolling with the Vikings. Minny Napolis!
OAK @ NO
Chuck: I want to pick Oakland, because under all the drama they really do have a good team. However, I can’t pick them to win on the road in New Orleans when Drew Brees is looking like Peyton Manning is supposed to look. N.O. wins.
Risse: Reggie Bush will strut his swexiness all up and down the filed on the Raiders. Brees will have a huge game. Tom Cable will be under center with the media and Lane Kiffin will be sending JaMarcus Russell text messages. It all equals some good TV on a Sunday morning for me. Saints win.
CIN @ NYJ
Chuck: Who would have guessed that Brett Favre would be the #1 ranked quarterback in the NFL 2 months after learning an entirely new offense? He should chew Cincy’s defense up at home. NY wins.
Risse: Great…its the Broadway Brett Revival. Is Brett gonna end up like Celine Deon with that damn Vegas show? I really hope not. I will pray for strength for Coach Marvin Lewis to endure the madness in his locker room and find a way to get through this season. Jets got this.
CAR @ TB
Chuck: Under normal circumstances I would choose Tampa to win, but since the quarterbacks are hurting, and Joey Galloway is questionable… I’ll go with Carolina for the win.
Risse: It’s really no fun when we agree, Chuck. But I am taking Moose and the Panthers too.
STL @ WAS
Chuck: Can you steamrolled? It will take an act of god for St. Louis to come through with the W. Redskins win.
Risse: Clinton Portis shouldn’t even be allowed to play in this game. Even if that were to be that case, the Redskins would still win. D.C. gonna rough it off!
JAC @ DEN
Chuck: Denver is usually money at home, but I’m going to give Jacksonville the upset here. They looked great against a tough Pittsburgh team last week and I believe they can stifle Denver. J-Ville FTW.
Risse: Now in my mind, I want to go with Jacksonville. But I have this little feeling that Cutler will be able to pull Denver through in this one. And being that I just felt a little earthquake as I typed that, should I perhaps take that as a sign? Denver wins?
DAL @ ARI
Chuck: I know most people will automatically take Dallas with a win here, but Arizona’s offense is bordering on SCARY. Kurt Warner and the crew can put up 40 points on anybody, their defense may give up 50 but Dallas hasn’t been looking that great lately. The Cardinals can easily take this, but just to be safe I’ll pick the Cowboys.
Risse: The Cowboys are imploding. And maybe I can’t help but think that being that ESPN has given them CNN-presidential campaign like coverage. The Cowboys look vulnerable against teams that can light up the scoreboard. I think old Kurt and Larry Fitzgerald trump the ‘Boys. And I foresee some bizarre postgame antics from T.O. and Romo left trying to explain a loss. Cardinals get the dubya.
PHI @ SF
Chuck: Will my blind San Francisco loyalty override my common sense for a fifth week in a row? Can I possibly choose San Francisco will J.T.O’Sullivan has trouble against good teams? Can I possibly believe S.F.’s defense can stop McNabb when they let New England control the ball for a whopping 40 minutes (of a 60 minute game) last week? The answer is YES. S.F.WINS. Logic Schmogic muthafuckas!
Risse: I understand honey. You know I do. I will gladly take the points, thank you. Philly wins.
GB @ SEA
Chuck: This is another tough one, Green Bay has lost 3 games in a row and Seattle is so hampered by injuries my one legged grandma is in the running to be their new kicker. I dont have a coin nearby, so im going to throw my remote control in the air. If the buttons land face up, Green Bay wins, face down…. Seattle wins. Here we go….
The first time i threw the remote in the air, it landed perfectly on its side…possibly a sign from god that this experiment is stupid. But I flipped again and they landed face up. Green Bay wins.
Risse: Whoa! Whatever works, dude. I stand behind Rodgers. Plus I just have to admit that I have never really cared about Seattle. Packers end the slump.
NE @ SD
Chuck: This should be called “the battle of the teams who got their ass smashed by the college wildcat offense”. San Diego wins.
Risse: Basically! I hope LT and the Chargers can get back right. They are just like my ex, so inconsistent. Even with no Brady, I am on the fence with this one. But I am playing to win so I will pick the Chargers.